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Monday, May 14, 2018


"Hi, I'm Eden. I am Avril Lavigne years old.
I'm the spirit of adolescence and I hold your heart intact.
I am a free spirit, as long as it's before bedtime.
While you sleep, I sincerely protect the minutes of your dial-up connection."

"I'm thirst. I reside in your heart.
While you possessed no real love, I ensure your heart is never empty.
And I fill it with heartbreak."

"I'm surprise. I like to knock on the door of love and run away.
When the door opens, I greet you on the other side.
While Eden is there, I'm a mirror."

"I'm Midas, the spirit of the youth.
Grim, I light up the night with anguish and turmoil.
A hundred deaths injected in your veins, I ensure vitality for every Bryan Adams song in the future and reminisce of Eden.
I gilded your heart with love."

"I'm true love. I visited you twice.
I was driven away, but I'm a spirit, I'm always there with you. And I'll reappear"

Dear spirits who know of true love
"She/he was a bad person" and
"She/he had a good heart".
While 'she' are no good for me,
'she' are a golden scar
While it is mutual, not always 'true'.
While it is 'true', not always vice versa.
Between 'knowing' and an Uber car
I don't know which is closer to the destination
when the destination is stars.

"I'm maturity. I make falling for love skeptical.
But through me, a one night stand may seem logical."
Everything negative comes from growing up.
Die, as soon as you see Eden.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Doors have closed

Doors have closed with a path of no return
Like life is an immutable data structure you can only add to but not remove.

Something I see but another not does
Something they feel but know not of.
Some type of internal combustion
driving me mad and paranoid.

Of which there were two,
currently the fourth, that belongs to no one.
the third if you ask, is dead
the first if you ask, is undead.
The second if you ask, smeared and bled

I do not know what to say
anger and rage should consume your soul I pray
curses I give not
Blessings, enough I shared and kind of forgot.
Some are close and others far,
if I die before I'm reborn,
please do pray.
For karma will consume you, if movies do not.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Portal of a memory

An iceberg rolls down a face and ends up warm,
calmly touches the ground,
and opens up a portal of a memory.

A snowflake falls
the globe spins,
exposing the back of a man
a corroded fragment

A marriage of hope and sorrow
that would wean the strongest of strong
from their power
the strongest of strong

And so I wonder, in this memory
what could it be?
That is so general yet specific?
How could it trigger the lives of so many?

It has the sweetest melody,
and the lyric goes like a formula.
It starts off with love
and gets left off with thought,
just thought.

A lover departs when a new heart arrives.
A fire dies when a tear arises.
A drawing is born of the fragrance and form of the way he would laugh like a child
and she would care like a mom
the way they would together, laugh.

The sweetest melody
of laughing eyes
squinted at the sides,
this feeling is magical
this feeling is sad
this feeling is a memory
of the best times we had.

And so the iceberg lands
in the form of a tear
the corroded fragment,
wet with fear -
the loss of God,
the loss of faith
the loss of love
wandering, wandering through sleepless nights.
Landing on the pillow of the feeling of love against the concrete ground.
until it scrapes off every inch of sound remaining in your ears.
Cleansing you, preparing you, to be part of the song.

The song of sorrow, the song of hope
the sweetest melody of joy afloat
The song of treason, the song of alcohol
of weary nights in the corner of a room.

A feather in his hand, a flower in your hair
a stolen kiss, in the backdrop of a rumbling dishwasher
The anxious nights, which glued two days
with no sleep in the middle, a buzzing text by the pillow

The valentines days, like the stripes on the road
driving through the years, with only one or two to count
and then you lived all the stripes at once
and get left with the blanks, to feel out the days
left in thought, in a few grand memory lanes.
speeding and slowing,
Sometimes whining, at times laughing,
in the whole circle of life,
with imperfect timing.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

In your atmosphere

The feeling of a song on loop
Is like feeling that your life rewinds
Every 3 verses, I go back a mile..
A mile back towards your aroma stuck in time. Back one mile, back towards India.. back one mile
The feeling of your ghost all smiles
How it would have been, could have been
I have red onions on my frying pan..
Imagining what it would have been like to cook 
for you and hear you joke "Delicious, think I'll survive "

But every tick backwards, my beard strands turn whiter
Every day towards you, your life slips farther
Towards permanent commitments
To loves forevers
Back home, the memories I so vividly see are frozen
Just the paint on the walls is faded, it's greyscale.

And 3 verses behind, back a mile, deep dive..
Into a dream, my head on your ghost's thighs
My bed burns up before it lands into yours
Wherever I go, whatever I do
I land into your atmosphere on fire
Never touching you, whispering nevermind.
Whatever you know, wherever your man
I am not quite content knowing he'll love you forever.
The sunset you bask in will forever be sad, being the inverted semicircle it is.
I know you tried to reach out,
I was deaf and blind,
until the day you left..
Until the day you left
I still had and have more left in me
But one day, you let go
and the string slips out of your reach so fast.
You can never compete with time,
but only time can compete with love.
and that sums up my only hope.
Good night.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Hudson Hornet

Roaring pistons, lightning veins
defying dependencies, drinking spree
exalted, immaculate, forcing, forging

defying, complying
undermining everything
because the crown is not built to catch up with that head
Hope exploding, force raging, bolts bursting through those irides
No heart in this world can beat this horse
One day I will emerge out of the foggy blue morning
and zoom past you like a Hornet
And you will be the one left chasing
and you will be left chasing.

Monday, August 8, 2016

The escape

The blades of the fan cutting through the blood of the night
The ocean of air, left far behind
Memories leaking, intruders sneaking
Ants feeding, on the leftover words that you were speaking

Such a karaoke delight
Avril Lavigne on a translucent vodka night
A winning song, under a bleak spite
Fifty thousand lines of code, distant emotion in sight

I will fall, I will jump, I will crawl
I will wait, I will faint, I will escape

Over the midnight lime, Sunny cricket smile
A fake salary, an untamed irony
Punctured chin and crooked teeth
Weeping wounds that never heal
Underrated, like a new achilles heel
Such feels..

Introducing the Kiiara feels
You are faded when I'm sober, sober when I'm faded
Over-scrutinized by all your counterparts and then hell there's no debating
You don't even know what's real but you like to read the fate-linings

I will fall, I will jump, I will crawl
I will wait, I will faint, I will escape

It dawned upon me on a new beginning
that calloused fingers never feed on winning
they bring new beginnings like a platinum lining
they glow in the dark and although I'll sink when I swim
I'll soar when it's thin,
and if you think pain will bring me down
It probably will

But I will fall, I will jump, I will crawl
I will wait, I will faint, I will escape

And in the violet morning
a blatant fire rising
my only hope thinning and a skater boy spinning
I will try to undertake the situation like it's a new beginning
But my fire doesn't fade it crystallizes
and if you thought you can milk me like a mooing Peter Griffin you're wrong cuz I metamorphose
Oh you have so little faith, don't doubt it don't doubt it
victory is in my veins, I know it I know it
and I will not re-negotiate
I will fall, I will survive, I will jump and I will rise

I will fall, I will jump, I will crawl
I will wait, I will faint, I will escape

I will fall, I will jump, I will crawl
I will wait, I will faint, I will escape.

My Arrival

Flying away, forever I will stay
In your heart, I'll leave an aroma of joy
When I leave at night, I will arrive on the other side
Wise and admired, excited but tired

Let us make a promise
Let us meet on the other shore
For we'll miss each other
when one of us goes

Sweeter than God
Happier than my joy
An anxious lark
may fly me half a world away
As every approaching minute your heart sways
In excitement, you burn brighter than day
And when I arrive, you can finally say
Come on, let's take you home.
Thank you lord,
you touched him, and from within
he turned to gold.
No matter how much he grows, he hasn't turned old.
No he hasn't turned old
For me, he'll never grow old.

-Dedicated to my parents, on this brand new occasion we are so excited about.